As I reflect about what I have done recently in my coaching business. I have gained a huge sense of satisfaction from the many individuals that I have been able to help who have suffered traumatic injuries, which can and are very devastating to these individuals and their families. I have been blessed in my life to have had wonderful coaches and teachers who have taught me the skills that I have used with the talents that God has given me to be able to have the patience and empathy for these individuals and families. I also understand that many times these individuals and families are looking for someone who is willing to get into this” deep dark pit” with them and guide them out. This is done by coming up with strategies that are specific to the individual. I have found that all individuals are different. Regardless of the injury, they need and want to be treated in a way that they respond to. I have always used what I call the “Race Horse” treatment. If I treat someone like the owner of a race horse takes care of his horse. I have always found I got amazing results by treating someone special. This is nothing new, I’m just amazed that others don’t see the value in this. I have worked with others who call it the “10” treatment. If you treat everyone like a “10” you will be surprised by what you get.
One of the first things I noticed with most who have suffered from a traumatic injury is that they weren’t used to being treated special. This strategy, allows me to earn their trust. It is at that point that we can learn to work together to begin the journey out of this pit. At this point the healing journey begins. It is also at this point that miracles do happen.
Archive for Persoanl Growth
The following letter was sent to me recently from a gentleman I began working with over 16 years ago. Lou wrote this when he began going back to College. He his now in his late thirties, doing well. I wanted to share because not only does he mean a lot to me, but what I learned from him has helped thousands of others over the years. Thanks Lou for the memories. I Love you, man!
Arnie
Lou Ollson
Com 110
Dr. Reed
June 12, 1996
MIRACLE MAN
Sometimes you meet heroes in the strangest of ways without any planning or anticipation whatsoever. On June 14, 1993, I was in a very serious accident which caused a traumatic injury. I was in a physical coma for four weeks and a barbiturate coma for two of those weeks. The doctors didn’t have much hope that I would ever function again on any level, but my family believed in a Higher Power and thought that I would come back to reach my fullest potential.
After 21 of the longest months of my life, including rehab which seemed like 24 hours a day, seven days a week, I met, by a stroke of God’s hand, Arnie Fonseca, the best Exercise Therapist in the world. Because of Arnie, in the last 15 months I have progressed from a wheelchair to a walker to a four-pronged can to just my feet.
When Arnie first started working with me, I had limited range-of –motion and could stand for no longer than two to three seconds at a time without assistance. We started by doing exercises that didn’t require too much motion on my part; for example, I lay on the bed and pushed my legs against his hands. Slowly I progressed and became mobile. I spent hours trying to walk without the cane or the walker. In fact, I was not using any walking aids when we started going to the gym.
Our program at the gym consisted of many different types of exercises, everything from the recumbent bicycle to the leg press. We started out with hardly any weights at all on a lot of the machines, but as I kept working, I continued to get stronger and the weights increased accordingly. For example, I started with just the seated leg press with a basic weight of 45 pounds. We added 45 pound plates on each side one by one until I was doing 750 pounds after a few months or so.
Today I have a lot of independent time; I am working out at the Fitness center primarily walking on the treadmill. This time has given me great confidence, and I now believe that I can achieve anything that I set my mind to.
When I first started training with Arnie, I felt like a lab rat whom was just under the microscope for testing only and nothing else. I was the indentured slave at Arnie’s beck and call and subject to his whims. But as we continued to work out, our relationship began to grow from one of patient-therapist to one of friend-friend. Now we even go out to social engagements together.
Arnie is a workaholic and demands the most that one can possibly achieve and will settle for nothing less. He is always on-task, and I admire him for having these qualities because they are the reason I’m where I am today.
We now work together six days per week, one hour a day, and we have had this schedule for the last 15 months. Some days we work at the Fitness Center; other days we work at Get Serious Gym or at the park. In fact, Channel 3 News did a report on me and how Arnie has helped me progress following the above schedule.
Thanks to this man who some call a”miracle man” I am doing things that I never expected to do again. He has me jogging and running figure eights. These are very advanced movements and the physical therapists at St. Joseph’s Hospital never in their wildest dreams thought I would be doing them. But, what do you know? I am! Miracles never cease.
I was speaking at a resort today with a group of wonderful people whose average age was close to 90! The topic was how to finish strong and have quality of life. I am never amazed how much I learn from these wonderful individuals. I know that they all possess the secret. The rest of us are trying to figure it out. Today in the group was a gentleman who was 100, as he proudly told me. Although I was amazed how sharp mentally he was, that was not the attraction I felt, it was his amazing smile. It was a big Ah-ha moment for me. I am always talking about how important having a great attitude is, regardless of age. This was different, he was genuinely happy and wanted to learn anything he could to continue to be happy and have quality of life. To me he had a child like attitude, which I believe is one of the secrets. God has blessed all of us with the ability to make choices in our lives. One of those is that we can choose to have a childlike spirit. This I am convinced is a key to longevity. This gentleman radiated life. This will and has attracted amazing opportunities into his life. Look at your own life. Would you rather surround yourself with individuals who are grumpy and irritable or those who radiate life! The choice is yours. Sometimes it even means being around our own families. These folks who I was with have figured out its much better to choose to be happy, rather than being miserable. There are all sorts of things they could be complaining about. They choose not to. They choose to want to learn and grow so that they can continue to contribute, as they did with me today. I feel totally blessed from making new friends today who have chosen to continue to grow and attack life!
As I was doing my workout this morning, I noticed that my coach looked a little more tired than usual. It wasn’t the tired that I see or have seen on his face after a hard workout, as he does each morning, which is impressive on it’s own as a 70 year old, former World Champion athlete. It was one of worry and stress. As I spoke him, as usual he asked me if I wanted to share in his glory. He has been awarded some type of honor from a group he couldn’t even remember and he wanted to share it with those that help him. This was so typical of this man who has been giving non- stop for over 40 years of his life. Then on top of that he shared with me that his wife will have hip surgery in the next 2 weeks and he has to take classes so he can be of help to her. But besides all of that he was concerned that he would have enough equipment and supplies for the kids who we will be training tonight. This whole thing was so typical of this man. It made me think how he had reached the peak of human needs as he was someone whom was giving far beyond himself. It was no wonder that I saw the unusual stress and fatigue on his face. We all have a point where it’s enough. Thank God that this man has a strong spiritual base that allows him to gather the strength needed to do what is necessary in his life. Also the fact that he has maintained a program of strength training for so many years is so important in how he has maintained amazing health and energy. Very few of us would be able to what he is doing, without compensation. He has shown to be an amazing inspiration of what can be done with a strong why and excellent health from years of intense physical training.
The power of personalities. This statement can make or break many relationships, whether in business or personally. Knowing the personality of the person you want to establish a relationship is one of the most valuable tools you will have in your life. As a teacher and a coach for many years, having this skill would have made my life so much more joyful. Although I have always done well establishing relationships, especially in business, the reason for this was that I have been very interactive or outgoing. As I started to study personality tests such as Disc and others it allowed me to learn more about me and how I best relate to others and how they relate to me. With this knowledge I began thinking of all the opportunities I had had to develop relationships, that were lost, because I was not relating to the other person in a way that they needed to be. Developing relationships is not about me, it’s about the other person. This point alone has played a huge role in my life the last few years. I have learned that I can’t expect people to know how to communicate with me, I must first communicate with them, not how I want to be talked to but rather how they want to be talked to. It is at this level that developing skills on how to identify personalities is so valuable. When I am able to talk to people in the language they understand, at a pace that is comfortable for them. I will greatly enhance my chance to develop a personal relationship. The hard part of this for me is with personal relationships, those who already know me. Unlike business relationships they may not work, I have to work extra hard at learning about my family and friends, if I want to keep them around. I have to learn about their personality and how to communicate to them. Remember in business you don’t always have to be in business, but it’s a lot more difficult to find new family and friends. You must study their personalities and learn to communicate in a way that’s pleasant to them. Believe me it’s worth it. So the tip here is don’t try to change people, study them and change how you communicate and treat them. You will develop an amazing life by develop amazing relationships!
Today I’m going to discuss something which is a basic human need. The basic human need to be connected or loved by another human being. This need for love and connection happens to be one aspect of our lives that we can’t do without. Because of this fact, this need for love or connection creates a dilemma for many of us. For a person to love or be loved requires that person to expose themselves emotionally and spiritually to someone. This requires a lot of courage by you. So for many, connection through a group, team or even some type of gang becomes the next best option, because these groups appear safe to us. Hence we don’t have to totally expose ourselves like we would in a relationship that involves love. It is at this level of connection that I have found being part of an exercise group or athletic team can really play a significant role in a person’s life by providing a connection to others and possibly create a glide path to love. Let me quickly explain. We know that regular exercise provides a release of “feel good chemicals” called endorphins. So this will generally provide the motivation to continue to exercise, which we know will bring success as far as your physical goals, as well as providing a platform for you to develop your self-image and confidence. I have seen countless individuals become much more sociable and outgoing through being involved in regular exercise or being part of a team. This eventually becomes an attraction to others. People are attracted to others who are excited about life. So begin today on designing an awesome life by getting involved in movement. The best time to start is now!
I have helped thousands of individuals over the past 30 years achieve their goals despite daunting challenges in their lives. I have spoken at both National and International conferences on topics ranging from Strength and Wellness to the treatment of Traumatic Spinal Cord and Brain injuries.
Twenty years ago I developed “A Fitness Experience” a unique strength program, which has now been released as a DVD; to assist our aging population improve the quality of their lives.
Over the years I have appeared on both Radio and TV along while recently creating the well known blog, “Your Fountain of Youth”. I continue to write, speak and consult on all areas of Wellness.
I describe himself as a “Dreamer”. My vision is to add value to as many lives as I can reach. I continue to serve my community through my foundation, The Next Step Foundation. I truly believes we achieve our Dreams by serving others.
Today I had an interesting conversation with a delightful person I met at a local YMCA. I was working with a client and I noticed a fit gentleman who was obviously older, working on a machine in front of us. I waited until he finished and complemented him on how hard he was working. He immediately pumped up his chest and proudly began to tell me his story. When he had finished I thought how easily it is to encourage someone or tell them what a wonderful job their doing. I only had to look at my life and remember the times when someone complemented my work or something I had said or done. Today I made a friend because I reached out to an elderly person who was proud of what he had accomplished in his life, from a physical standpoint, but who didn’t hesitate to tell me literally about his life in less than 5 minutes. He had even agreed to call me to have a conversation on things that were important to him. All of this occurred because I reached out to him. How many times during your day do you have the opportunity to make someone’s day? You would be surprised at the opportunities that are presented to you daily. Simply by telling someone who may be bringing in grocery carts, doing yard work or working in a store, that they are doing a great job, will energize their day and yours. Make it a habit to tell someone, especially people close to you that they are doing a good job. Watch how your relationship with them changes. Remember to encourage and not correct. There will be a time for that. If you are sincere you will be remembered and more importantly you will make a friend. Encourage someone today and make your day!
Here is another wonderful post by Robert Rohm Ph.D. at Personality Insights, Inc.
www.personalityinsights.com
Tip: Get in the game!
I have told you before that when I graduated from high school in 1967, I went to a military school called Gordon Military College. It was a rude awakening to my lazy, lackadaisical life! I did not know what self-discipline truly was all about. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I knew much about any kind of discipline! Sometimes it takes a rude awakening to get our attention before we learn very much. Well, military school certainly got my attention and did it quickly! From the moment we got up in the morning until we went to bed at night, someone was either yelling at us or blowing a whistle in our ears. Even though it was difficult, it taught me a great deal.
One of the disciplines I learned while attending that school was how to study. Each night from 7:00 until 9:30 p.m., we had a mandatory study hall in which we were required to sit at our desks and study. Someone patrolled the hallways to make sure that we were doing just that!
One night I decided that since I had to sit there for 2 ½ hours, I might as well study! (Sometimes I’m a slow learner!) Anyway, I started reading a book called, Get in the Game, by Bill Glass. Mr. Glass was a former pro-football player for the Cleveland Browns. He impressed me so much because he was such a strong, outstanding individual and a real man’s man.
In the book he talked about how important it is to participate in the game of life. He pointed out that life is not a side-line sport. It is something that we must get involved in and play with all of our hearts. He said that if we expect life to have any meaning at all, we need to play with “reckless abandonment.”
That phrase, “reckless abandonment,” caught my eye because many coaches had used that term when I was growing up, playing sports. They often told us that if we played half-heartedly, there was a good chance that we would get hurt. In other words, we were to play with all of our heart. We were told that an athlete will never be very effective if he is afraid of being hit or tackled. It is necessary to play the game, giving it one hundred percent!
Glass’ book applied that same concept to playing life at full speed. He said that you can not half-way do a marriage, or half-way raise children, or half-way work for someone if you expect to have good results and succeed.
That book made a profound impact on my young heart and mind at the time. I understood what he was trying to communicate. I understood that regardless of what I planned to do with my life, I would have to do it with all of my heart and with all of my might. I began to live by that philosophy and found it to yield good results in my life.
Several years later I came across that same book, and I remember that my heart leapt inside my chest because I recalled how much it had meant to me early in my life. Since my first reading had been so long ago, I decided that I would read it again.
I read through the book hoping to get everything out of it that I had gotten the first time, but this time was strange. The book seemed to be flat. It seemed to be uninteresting; maybe even boring. I could not understand what had happened. How could a book that had changed my life so much many years earlier now have basically no meaning to me at all? It was indeed a strange occurrence! I thought maybe something was wrong with me. It wasn’t until years later that someone was able to shed light on what had happened.
You see, the first time I read the book, I had very little understanding of self-discipline or about how to get involved in the game of life. And, I had very little understanding of what it meant to live life with reckless abandonment. However, over the next few years, I had employed those concepts in my life; they had become part of me. Therefore, the information now was no longer foreign to me. Because it was something that had already become part of my life and was no longer brand new, the book had lost its impact. It had already done its job and its work was complete.
That understanding helped me to realize why it is important to learn and grow. As we do, the very thing that we once knew nothing about becomes part of our life. It becomes part of the very fabric of our soul. That is what happened with that book. The concepts in it had become so much a part of my life that I did not realize why it did not mean as much to me the second time I read it. Instead of just learning about how to play the game of life, I had grown into a participant who was actively involved in the game of life.
Now, one last thought – please do not get me wrong; I am not a perfect player! I still make mistakes at times, just like everyone else. And, sometimes I fall down or a penalty flag is thrown, but I sure am enjoying playing the game! I don’t want to sit on the sidelines. I want to play the game, giving it one hundred percent. I don’t want to arrive at the end of my life and be left wishing that I had done some things that I was simply too afraid to try. No, I want to play life with “reckless abandonment.” I want to be part of every activity that I can and to learn from my mistakes and failures. I find it is more exciting to live life as a winner and a participant than it is to simply play it safe as a casual observer.
You and I are only going to get to live once. I hope that you will play life at full speed and with reckless abandonment, striving to win and achieve in all that you do! It truly is the best way to go!
Tip: Get in the game!
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert A. Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
I would like to share some amazing advice that I have recently been reminded of. “Slow Down!” What I mean is how you react to life’s events and the thoughts spinning in your head. I find that successful people have learned to step back and respond rather than react to stuff that happens in their day. I have compared this to being able to slow the events down. When this happens you now have the opportunity to respond, which will likely be more thoughtful. For those of you who are athletes you will recognize this as being in the zone. If you were to ask someone who is in the zone they would most likely tell you that the game really slows down. Just imagine how well you would do if the person you were competing against appeared to almost be standing still! Wow! Would that be cool! That is what you could do in your own life if you could look at events like an athlete in the zone. Do you think you could be more successful? I believe you could! I was recently talking with a young athlete who is playing baseball at a local community college. I asked him about the speed of the game and those he was competing against. He was humble, yet confident in his answer. The reason was because he has become so prepared through his coaching and training that the game at this level has slowed down for him. That means success! The same will happen for anyone who begins to design a life where they can slow down events and thoughts. Respond thoughtfully and watch your life launch to the next level!
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